Saturday 19 May 2012

'And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.' (Anais Nin)

I have wanted to write a blog about books, reading and writing for a few years. And what has been stopping me? Fear, mostly, in all its different guises. Myself.

I've been afraid of taking on another thing and overloading myself. Afraid of not having anything to say that another person might consider valid - not having a wide enough vocabulary or being clever enough to write convincing or interesting book reviews - not having a thick enough skin to cope with trolls, or even the often illusory bluntness that appears when you read a stranger's comments on the screen, as opposed to hearing them speak. And a multitude of other anxieties.

Then I decided to take part in '23 things for Professional Development' course. Having become a part-time Information Librarian six months ago, a colleague forwarded me an email about it, and it really appealed to me. But - oooh, I thought. Hmm. Gotta write a blog as thing #1. Maybe I just won't bother - the time it'll take. Once I've set it up, it would really exist, I'd have to actually do it.


I looked at some of the other 22 things and I really, really wanted to do it. 


So I did.


Never mind all the fears. I'll just be honest about them and then they can exist and so too can my blog about books and reading and writing. These are the things that power me. I have loved books since before I could read. I held a pen in my hand ready to write long before I was able (I have very sweet photographs - and a lot to thank my Mum and Dad for!). When I properly think about the influence of the written word in my life so far, I get a surge of passion in the middle of my chest, and a dizzying feeling at how deeply intertwined I feel with the world of books.


This is from the cpd23 website:


So what is '23 Things' anyway?
23 Things is a self-directed course aimed at introducing you to a range of tools that could help your personal and professional development as a librarian, information professional or something else.  Each week, we'll write about one or more tool from our list of 23 things and invite you to try it out and/or reflect on how it could help your professional development.  Some of the tasks will be practical Things for you to try out straight away, and some of them will be less immediate: ideas to try in the future, or things you can start working towards now and realise in due course or when opportunity arises!

Who's it for?
23 Things for Professional Development is for anyone who thinks they might benefit from it. You don't have to be a qualified anything, you don't have to work in a particular sector or location, you don't have to be in work, you don't have to be at library school... If you think you can learn from this then please take part!

I love how open this course is - that anyone who thinks they'll benefit is welcome, that it's about both personal and professional development. These seem like good principles to have in mind for this blog - I'd love its boundaries to be wide and open, for it to encompass a variety of subjects, for it to reflect me both professionally and personally. As a librarian, as a library and information assistant (which is what I do for the other 26 hours of my working week), as a writer (I graduated from the UEA creative writing MA in 2007, and am currently writing my first novel), and as just another human lady whose life has been shaped and determined by literature and reading and creative writing.

I'm looking forward to being challenged every week with something new, doing cpd23. Doing things that I blatantly wouldn't be doing if not for the course, things outside my comfort zone that trigger little flurries of fear. I intend let them settle, then kick a path on through. 

Blogging will be a challenge for me, a new way of writing, which in turn will need a new way of thinking. Time to create some fresh neural pathways... Ever more than before, I'm enjoying identifying a challenge and just going at it headfirst. If something scares me, it's probably a good idea to work out why and do something about it. Being a librarian has done so much for my development already - my confidence is improving, my organisational skills are growing, as are my information skills. It's made me want to improve my knowledge on subjects like law, business, statistics (getting enquiries on any of these things has always set off a little panic explosion!). And it's finally made me actually blog, rather than wishing I did and then finding excuses not to. Bring on the skydive and learning Spanish! (One day...)